So before I die I'm going to save like...$5,000...then when I die I'm going to instruct someone to send it to someone really famous...like John Stamos from Full House. Then all he has to do is show up to my funeral, cry and then leave. That's all, just show up, cry, leave.
People will be so confused. They will all be mourning my death and crying.
"Oh my gosh, I can't believe he's dead. I can't believe he's gone...this sucks...this...", they see John Stamos crying, "...is that...is that John Stamos? Is he really crying? Did Colin know John Stamos? Were they brothers? Was Colin's last name Stamos?"
Then I'm going to have a closed casket at my funeral...so people will think I'm in it...but I won't be! In the middle of the service, strobe lights are just going to turn on. Then my body is just going to drop from strings hanging from the ceiling and then...techno music.
My mom's going to be crying like, "What the heck is going on here? What was Colin into?"
(NOTE: I didn't write this, it's genius though, I wish I did. This was actually a comedian named Nick Swardson. Very funny man.)
About Me
- Colin
- When I was seven I went to a play called Glory and the Fire. It was a rather real description of what Heaven and Hell would be like. I was so scared that I gave me life to Christ just so I wouldn't go to Hell. I went to church, but I didn't care. I went to youth group, but I didn't want to. I said I was Christian, but I never told anyone about Christ. Eight or nine years later I began to actually live like a Christian. Now I'm 19 and setting a course to my calling in life: Ministry.
3 comments:
I thought you wrote that yourself. I was hysterical. Now I find out you're a joke robber! Argh! And all kinds of other mean-sounding pirate-like sayings!
i kinda like the idea of paying someone to moun at your funeral. i should do that. it would make me feel popular... the whole body dropping and strobe lights seems kinda scary though.
ml, I have another part to that that I did write. I'll post it now.
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